How to Eat An Elephant ~ Chapter 6: Don't Be Afraid of Snakes

Besides sports and camping, my dad also loved to hunt and fish. There are a couple of important rules to follow when it comes to hunting and fishing:
Rule #1…. Never, never, never hunt on Sunday… Bad things happen when you hunt on Sunday… It seemed like every time he broke this rule, even if it was just to go road hunting, something would break down or get stuck… I remember more than once, mom having to go rescue dad because he didn’t make it home when he was expected because he was stuck or broken down.
If someone ELSE invites you to go hunting on Sunday… don’t fall for it. Otherwise you may have to pay the consequences of “guilt by association”!  A couple of times my mom had to hike out of the woods with him because she “went along for the ride”… This lesson was drilled into my head… just don’t do it… it’s not worth it.
A side note to Rule #1… ALWAYS tell someone where you are going in case they need to come rescue you… ESPECIALLY if you are breaking rule #1!
Rule #2… What happens at deer/elk camp, stays at deer/elk camp. This would include all pieces of clothing that are worn during camp as well as stories of what may or may not have happened… since this is an important rule, I am not allowed to share examples here, because that would be a violation of rule # 2…If you have been there you understand. If not, it is something that you just need to experience for yourself.
Rule # 3… Don’t moon your buddies who may have a camera in their hand. One time he went fishing with my brother and he was down by the water and my brother was up on a ridge. My brother was taking some pictures of the scenery and dad thought it would be funny to moon him at the exact moment my brother snapped the picture. No harm no foul, right? WRONG! My sister in law developed the film and left the pictures sitting on the counter. Her mother later came along and was looking at them. There was a small spec in the picture down by the water and she (my brother’s mother in law) asked, “What kind of animal is that?” HAHAHAHA! NEVER MOON THE CAMERA!!!
Rule # 4… This is probably the all-time most important rule to remember…
DON’T YELL SNAKE!!!
My dad was afraid of snakes! Seriously, deathly afraid of snakes… when I say deathly, I mean do-this-at-your-own-peril.
Since knowledge is power, we quickly figured out the joy of hiding behind something and yelling “SNAKE” whenever he walked by. One time, my brothers and I were playing in a nearby field and we caught a bunch of tiny water snakes and put them in a 5 gallon bucket by the back porch… we had no idea that snakes could just slither up and out of the bucket without a lid on it, so when we came back to check on them later in the day, imagine our surprise when we discovered the bucket empty! My dad was soooo mad. He didn’t go in the back yard or in the basement for weeks because he was afraid he would see one. We did find several of them in the basement dead and crusty over the next several months.
 While we had a lot of fun teasing him about his fear of snakes, it was a very real fear for him.  So real in fact, that he carried his pistol holster over his shoulder when his fished in case he saw a snake. And he always poked the bank with a stick to scare away anything that was slithering around before he climbed out of the water… this would be why it’s the most important rule… He had been known to draw his gun on someone if they came at him with a rubber snake….. He didn’t mean anyone harm, it was just an involuntary reaction that he had no control over.
So.. it was good sport to jump out from behind a door and yell SNAKE, but you had to make darn sure he wasn’t armed and dangerous when you did it!
This taught me that it’s ok to be afraid. My big strong dad was afraid of a little water snake. Fear is a real thing and you can’t let it paralyze you and prevent you from doing the things you love. It is important to  learn to face those fears. Instinctively he knew that there were snakes in the water, but he went fishing anyway.  He prepared himself (with his gun) in case he came face to face with the source of his fear, but he never let it stop him from doing something he loved to do.
Many times in my life, I have found myself afraid of something. As someone who suffers from anxiety, social situations are my “snake”. I have been known to have an anxiety attack in the grocery store if it is unfamiliar to me. I hate change and situations where I am not in control of the circumstances. Social situations and doing new things are very difficult for me and people often misinterpret me as being unsocial when in reality, I am just afraid. I try to draw on his strength and his example of not letting fear control my life and make me miss out on doing fun things because I am afraid of the unknown. It’s kind of funny that I can stand in front of a group of people and give a lesson or a talk and not even think twice about it, but one on one contact in social situations with people who aren’t in my normal circle of trust is almost as paralyzing to me as a snake was to my dad.  My fear is not as extreme as his fear of snakes, and I don’t frequently go to the grocery stored armed, but the principle is the same.  There are many times in life when we find ourselves in a situation where we might be afraid to get in the water because we are afraid of what might happen when we climb out of the water and we don’t know what may be lurking in the grass on the bank. But we can’t let that stop us from getting our feet wet. I am so grateful for my dad’s example of learning to face a paralyzing fear and knowing that you can still find a way to enjoy activities that can cause fear and anxiety. I have also found that as you do those uncomfortable things, pretty soon your comfort zone has expanded to include the very things, that at one time, seemed undo-able.